After a painful, sleepless night, a day dawned whose collective misfortunes could characterize it as the worst day of my mission. For the first time since leaving America, I was homesick beyond repair and questioned my value in the insurmountable task of making a positive difference here where poverty reigns and unemployment seems to be the norm. I turned to God and then to paper and let my heartache come through my pen into these longings.
There’s rarely a day my heart doesn’t ache.
There’s rarely a night I don’t lie awake
Tearfully pondering the pain of rejection
Searching deeply in introspection
Looking for clues to unlock a heart
Trying to discover what changed from the start.
Will I always be an unwelcome guest
Until on the day that I’m laid to my rest?
Does peace only come at the end of life
When we lie down to rest from earthly strife?
Pain wouldn’t come if people didn’t matter.
Caring so much can make hopes tatter.
When all good intents for recompense fail
And things to resolve seem locked up in jail.
When flowers and love are tossed to the wind
And mind can’t imagine what way it had sinned.
For having such pain cry out and moan,
“Just give it all up and head back home.”
When our children were tiny, our family motto was “The Bassos Never Give Up.” For the past 42 years I have been a Basso so I don’t give up! Instead, I look for the joy! What a difference a day makes – 24 little hours. Sounds like a good name for a song! : ) The difference a day makes can provide an interlude of hope and provide a lesson in trusting God.
Peering through a camera lens is good therapy for leaving distractions out of view and focusing on the main subject. Here, it is the God we serve, His message of truth, and the people we love -- many of whom receive us with gladness. Once in awhile a photographic image is out-of-focus and corrections need to be made or new images captured. When reflecting back on such a photo, sometimes the moment captured is treasured even if the image was not sharp. Sometimes the value of the capture is merely the reminder that, although life doesn’t always play out in the exact image we hoped for, we can tweak our image of it and create value that can take on even greater meaning.
You have such a talent for expression in your words and your photography. They are a gift that bless many lives on both sides of the globe. My heart aches for your challenges and sorrows. You and Elder Basso and the Saints in South Africa are remembered in our family's prayers. Fresh Courage Take...you are the angels the Lord has sent and He will not let you fail.
ReplyDeleteLove, Lisa Ü
Music is such a comfort and blessing. Thanks, Lisa, for that reminder with words from "Come, Come, Ye Saints." "Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?" (Well, yours really IS!) Every day is another opportunity to "fresh courage take" for "Our God will never us forsake." Your ever encouraging and positive words are so appreciated. We are so blessed to serve in South Africa. It provides one of the greatest lessons in gratitude available in mortality. It never mattered before that we weren't rich but being here in Africa makes me wish that we had a pot of gold to share with all who daily experience such overwhelming poverty. I counseled today with a Congolese refugee who is married with several children. Neither parent can find a job. They walk four hours to and from the center because they can't afford R10 for transport. I funded enough for one ride home when he was exhausted and discouraged and gave him what food I had but when he wakes up tomorrow his family will still be hungry and the cycle of poverty begins again. This story is played out daily by throngs of needy people. We teach them skills and lead them to the waters of hope but there are such overwhelming odds against them. We "divide our gifts from Thee with" nearly "every brother that we see" and give many loaves of bread to those in need. That helps for a day but they need education to help provide bread for life. Education costs money. “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” John 6:35 reveals these beautiful words about the importance of being rich in Christ and being nourished through our devotion to him. "And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst." That’s the kind of riches our King of Heaven has! So with every breath we have, we continue to strive to bring souls to Christ so that all can be nourished by his love and share in the riches of eternity . . . “because we have been given much.” ♥ U!
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't hurt so much if you didn't love so deeply. We share tears with your struggles and pray for your successes. We are proud of you for your courage in conflict. Love you, Darrell and Joyce
ReplyDeleteThank you, Darrell. Your prayers are needed and appreciated. You, Joyce and Lisa are some of my greatest role models for "courage in conflict." Your example of faith and perseverance blesses all who know you. ♥
ReplyDeleteYou are doing a wonderful thing. I admire you both so much. You, and the work of the Lord are always in my prayers. Love you!
ReplyDeleteVicki