Beyond “till death do us part”

Some blessings are so magnificent that words cannot express the joy they bring into our hearts and souls.  Such a blessed experience came quite unexpectedly to me in the holy temple.

The sounds of celebration and the anticipation of getting in on a birthday cake brought several searching souls to our workshop classroom.  As we visited with those who had joined the gathering, our attention was drawn to a kind man from Angola.  He had made the long trip to Johannesburg to claim the blessings of eternal marriage.  He shared his heartrending story that struggled to emerge through stuttered dialogue and deliberate English shrouded in a thick accent influenced by Portuguese and mixed with tribal dialects.

His story began when he determined that it was time to find a good woman and get married.  An invitation was extended to him to correspond with a beautiful and pleasant young woman who had sacrificed to serve a mission and was thought to be an outstanding choice for a wife.  The two of them corresponded and enjoyed a growing friendship.  No photographs were exchanged because physical impressions were thought to be of less value than spiritual ones.  Eventually, the man went to Mozambique to meet his new, long-distance friend and see if there was an interest in pursuing a deeper friendship between them.  Upon arriving in the country, the man was presented with an entire line of women to meet.

The beautiful friend remained anonymous and unbeknown to one another they determined that they would be introduced solely by the Spirit.  They had faith enough to believe that God would reveal them to one another if it was meant for them to marry.  The man shook all of the hands as he worked his way down the row of women.  He felt nothing.  The beautiful friend stood quietly at the end of the line awaiting her turn for his handshake.  When their eyes met and their hands touched, a surge of the spirit passed between then and confirmed their destiny.  The gentle touch triggered a connection of hearts and they both knew that they would be connected forever.  It was “love at first sight.”  They were married the next day!

The man soon took his beautiful bride to Angola to begin their happy life together.  They had an immediate love for one another and felt theirs was a union made in heaven.  Every night he would tell his sweetheart, “You are the best thing in the world!”  She would respond with, “You are the best man in the world.”

Shortly after arriving in their Angola home, the beloved bride was exposed to Malaria and fell ill.  It was a different and more deadly variety than she might have experienced in her homeland.  As she grew weaker and began to lose her battle with the dreaded disease, she requested that she be taken back to her homeland for burial.  When the heart that her “Prince Charming” had won with pure love quit beating, she took her last breath and closed her eyes on mortality.  Their few weeks together bonded their love and sealed their desire to be eternal companions.

The heartbroken husband took his lifeless bride back to Mozambique to her grieving family.  His beloved 25 year-old bride was laid to rest.  Hope in the resurrection was the man’s only comfort.  They never imagined that “‘till death do us part” would come so quickly and terminate their fairytale romance. 

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the man knew that holy temples housed eternal possibilities.  He learned that by making and keeping sacred, eternal covenants, loved ones could be reunited beyond the grave.  Jesus broke the bands of death by being the first to be resurrected, thus opening the opportunity for all of Heavenly Father’s children to re-inhabit their early tabernacles and live eternally.  However, marriages that are sealed with the words “‘til death do us part” end at death and are not in force in the life after death.  Post-mortal promises are pronounced by those having the authorization to do so in the holy temples.  Since our temples are not yet in Angola or Mozambique where priesthood powers can perform those ordinances, the man came to Johannesburg seeking such blessings.  On the morrow, he would participate in an eternal marriage ceremony performed with a proxy acting for and in behalf of his beloved wife.  An Angolan mission president’s wife was selected to act as proxy for the man’s wife.  

As a devout temple worker, I was dismayed to have lost my credential to serve in the holy temple.  I had searched everywhere and could not imagine what had happened to that treasured temple recommendation document.  I had searched my bag on several occasions and twice had dumped all the contents onto my bed searching for the recommend to no avail.  It was my desire to witness the inspiring ceremony where this faithful man would participate in a brief ceremony that would extend his marriage from “‘till death do us part” to “for time and for all eternity.”  Without the card identifying me as a member in good standing, I would not be admitted into the holy temple and would not be able to share those sacred moments.  It seemed a bit selfish to want to be there but I had a strong feeling that I should be there.

When we arrived at work the next morning I began to lament the lost blessing of sharing in the man’s joyful and anticipated temple union.  I opened by bag to retrieve a note and there was my temple recommend lying right on top of my bag.  I snatched it and pressed it between the palms of my hands while whispering, “Thank you, Father in Heaven.”

In just moments I had walked through the lush forested area between our office and the temple and emerged into the shadow of that sacred edifice.  Not waiting for the elevator (lift) I rushed up the long flight of stairs to the entrance.  My recommend was electronically scanned and I was admitted into the elegant beauty of the Lord’s House.  I was ushered into the lovely room where eternal marriages are performed.  It is called a sealing room because couples are sealed together forever and families can be united for eternity.  Resplendent chandeliers radiated ambient light.  Tastefully appointed furnishings invited comfortable contemplation.  I sat quietly and waited.  It felt good to leave the hustle and bustle of mortal mania and ponder peacefully in such tranquil settings. 

An ordinance worker dressed in white entered the room and asked me to step out into the hallway.  “The President’s wife that was going to be the proxy in the sealing session is not here,” she said.  “Would you like to be the proxy for the bride during the wedding ceremony?”  I quickly became arrayed in spotless white clothing and was taken to a beautiful room to wait for the appropriate time.  Having sensed the presence of the spirit of the deceased bride, I whispered ever so softly calling her by name, “I am here for you.”  She let her presence be known to me.  I wept.  Perhaps she had the very assignment of putting my recommend on the top of my bag as I was later told, “It was meant to be.”  The tears continued as I joined with the man to participate in the sacred words that would unite that bright and beautiful black couple for all time and eternity.  We sealed the moment with a heartfelt “ebony and ivory” handshake.  After a tearful hug, we parted company.

The spiritual surge of that singular event continued to penetrate my heart throughout the day.  The amazing blessing of the Lord’s goodness in providing eternal blessings for His children could not escape my mind.  My thoughts returned time and again to the sacred magnificence of that experience that provided a glimpse into eternal joy.  I returned in thought to our own beautiful moment in the Hawaiian Temple when we became eternal companions.  I recalled the wedding celebration with family and friends in the beautiful Basso backyard overlooking the spectacular views from Diamond Head to Pearl Harbor.  Later, we flew off into the sunset for a honeymoon trip to Kauai.  We have enjoyed 43 years of marriage.  This deserving young couple got few more than 43 days.

My heart went out to this young widower left to ponder the wonders of eternity . . . alone.  I went to the Temple Patron Housing Manager and left enough Rands (African money) for him to enjoy dinner and ice cream to celebrate the day of his eternal marriage or “sealing” to his wife.  Later I gave him a small gift in a special temple bag, took a photo and said, “Goodbye.”  He returned to Angola with the reassurance that their hearts will be knit together forever.  I don’t expect to see him again in mortality but I hope to see their two smiling faces in heaven.  It was such an honor and blessing to help facilitate this sweet union and to do something for someone who was not present to do it for herself.  It represents one of the choicest opportunities for service imaginable.  It is truly a “win win” situation and does nothing to deny free agency!  The choice to solidify and extend a marriage beyond death is solely left to the discretion of those involved.  Eternal possibilities are just that – sealing ordinances that allow a choice that would otherwise not be made available.

There is order in the Lord’s work and the payments required to receive his grace and blessings are clean hands and a pure heart.   Psalms 24 declares, “Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord or who shall stand in his holy place?  He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.  He shall receive the blessings from the Lord, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.”

I testify that sealing powers have been restored to the earth and that by obedience to the principles and ordinances of the gospel all mankind may be saved from isolation and loneliness.  I join with The First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and “solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”